how to talk to little girls

i read in a blog that most often than not (actually always), we see little girls and we say "o how cute naman your braids." aside from that would annoy the purists (pure tagalog or pure english only), it may also contribute to how a little girl sees the world and herself: that looks are more important than anything else. but what is wrong with telling girls that they look like princesses and complimenting them for their pretty dresses? nothing. but why not start off with a conversation about the book that their mom is currently reading to them? or ask them about how their day is going. anything out of the looks area. and then let them know that they are pretty, that they are beautiful.

i wouldn't really know if that strategy works in emphasizing that looks are not as big of a deal as people make them appear. but it makes sense i think, because i very well know the feeling of being told of how pretty i am, as much as how im very familiar with the feeling of being ugly. im an advocate of looking beyond the looks. let's all balance this, shall we? that although we can't hide our natural characteristic to admire beauty and to abhor the lack of it, let's not get obsessed.

little girl me, little boy jan, and mommy and daddy

if in the future you get to talk to my little girl, please start with something else. you bet she'll have something worthwhile to share with you, other than the color of her dress and how it sparkles when she twirls. (but i think she'll still twirl for you.)