nightdreams and daydreams

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

gail woke me up one saturday at an earlier than usual time because "may surprise ako sayo." i mumbled words i don't remember anymore, but i got up and got ready for his surprise, recalling the dream i was having: 

i was texting tin if she wanted to watch a repeat show of bantugan, a school play she took part in when we were in freshman hs. in my dream i even called her and i was super excited because the play was happening the next day, which means i'd see her soon. 

now back to reality. a few seconds after gail woke me up, somebody knocked on our door, and it was tin!!! and totskie. blooming and dalawang bagong kasal. yes totskie, blooming ka din. hehe. syempre may pasalubong akong pastries as always, thanks tin. and saya saya ko! didn't think my night dream would turn into a daydream come true: spending time with tin and totskie. di nga lang kami nanood ng play. :p

tin and i are both pregnant by the way, so we're back to our high school days of sending letters to each other almost everyday. yes, we did that back in high school bagamat magkasama kami araw araw. we were really mushy that way. hehe. now it's just more logical to write to each other. i enjoy my pregnancy more because i get to share it with tin and also with cheekcheek!

thank you guys for visiting! gail and i had fun! next time ulit. hehe. 

ps: tin makes cakes and pastries. if you're in LB or somewhere near, get your noche buena desserts from her!!! check her sweets at :) and anytime you come back to this blog, just click the icon on the right part ober der. :D cheers to friendship, cupcakes and buns in our ovens!

how we found out

Sunday, December 9, 2012

(this is one of the many drafts sitting in my laptop. im keeping my pledge to myself: just keep blogging.)

first, here's a song that reminds me of my baby in my womb. whenever i hear it, i see my baby. and i know s/he will even be more beautiful than my vision. give it a listen as you read. mas masaya. :p 

the journey to having a baby is one part exciting and one part scary. magkakababy kaya kami? are we healthy enough for it? i even googled "how to get pregnant" on our 2-month baby-making mark, and i researched if gail's anti-asthma medicines were hindering us from being successful at it. 

around a week prior to us finding out, jhorace texted me and told me that God prompted her to speak of a vision. "sky is coming," she said. i got super thrilled, knowing that God's promise stands and indeed, our baby sky is coming soon. 

it was also around this time that one of our churchmates told me to sit down and relax while we were talking, because "baka ka makunan." i told her "wala pa pong baby," but she said "meron na yan." so again, my faith was boosted. 

within just three months of trying, i was already struggling. i got frustrated every time people would ask, id ask God and id ask gail. thankfully, God always assures me, and gail always tells me that God knows the best time for baby to come. 

the day before my birthday, i bought a pregnancy test kit. i wasn't so excited about it. i wanted my expectations to be manageable. i just wanted to test because in case it's a positive, maiingatan ko na ang sarili ko agad. at syempre, alam nyo na ang nangyari, positive! i held back tears as i saw the two lines form, i didn't want gail to know yet. i wanted it to be my birthday gift for him. but my self control (and the lack of it) got the better of me. i went what the heck I'm telling him, and tossed the pregnancy kit to his laptop. when he saw it, he said "anong ibig sabihin nito?" smiling. i spoke with my eyes and he hugged me tight. 

the first one to know was my mom, because i wanted to know if i had to do anything. she said to just take care. oo nga naman. and remember she was the one who advised me to just "let the love flow" and not to get pressured about having a baby. love flowed all right. 

we haven't stopped daydreaming ever since. ano kayang mannerisms nya, ano kayang personality ang mabubuo nya, what will be baby's favorite songs and dances? we tirelessly pray for him/her. my personal prayer is that s/he takes everything from his/her dad, except the asthma and the dancing. :p 

sometimes we look at our living room and we feel that it's so empty. good thing somebody's coming along to fill the house with all sorts of joy and fun. we just can't wait. 

ps: sabay bang natapos ang pagbabasa mo at ang music? kung oo, ang galing mo! 

some nights

Friday, December 7, 2012

after seeing my name and my words in a blog read by many, i thought to myself, i can do this. i can write. i don't write, write, like a professional fiction writer with words like "behooves" and "plethora", but i know i can get across what's in my mind, and I'm always satisfied with what comes out. 

but here we be, with a blog barely breathing with once-a-month posts. is my life that boring that i haven't written anything in ages? actually, it's been great. I'm pregnant! and stuff! but i just cannot get myself to write in this webspace. 

i enjoy back reading my entries, because they remind me of feelings I've had before, of words i miraculously weaved together. sometimes i cannot imagine being able to use such words to express my mind. i think every person who enjoys writing feels the same way every time they go back to their past works. knucks, works! as if! 

with the response i got from the blog entry i wrote for pastor dennis sy's, I'm challenged all the more to push myself and to just blog. in fact, i have a confession to make: i have a lot of entries in my drafts folder. i just feel like they're unworthy of being published, not like the previous ones i wrote. just like any "artist", i feel a sense of pride in some of the blog entries here, and a lot of cringe in those i do not like. nevertheless, each and every post here is a page of my memory, so why should i stop? 

so I'm not stopping. see ya after two days! :) 

ps: i names the blog entry after a song which, after i listened to it, made me just post this draft that has been sitting for days. give it a listen!

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